A high-ranking source at OSHA has confirmed that the agency will require all managers and supervisors (from companies with more than 25 employees) to pass a licensing exam by the year 2020 demonstrating management competencies.

The senior OSHA official, who wishes to remain anonymous until the agency officially promulgates the new regulations, declared: “Management induced stress is a plague on United States businesses and their employees. Supervisors with inadequate people skills represent a major threat to employee health and productivity and we are going to eliminate this problem once and for all.”

The new regulation, “2020 Vision for American Management” will require managers to demonstrate a wide array of competencies like:

1. How to distinguish employees who are “sucking up” from those who are actually getting the work done.
2. Comprehending the value of saying “thank you” and well done” and not asserting that these responses are superfluous because the employee is already receiving financial compensation for “doing their job.”
3. Understanding the negative motivational impact of raising your voice and getting red in the face when speaking to direct reports.
4. Giving credit where credit is due.
5. Mastering the ethical application of the expression “what’s good for the goose is good for the gander”.
6. Calculating the business costs of being a jerk.
7. Running a meeting that produces more results than boredom.
8. Having enough emotional intelligence to at least act like you are concerned about more than covering your own backside.
9. Maintaining a sense of humor (I understand that “Dilbert” will be used as a primary text in the test preparation process.)

The OSHA official went on to say: “We banned carcinogens and other toxins from the workplace decades ago in the interest of worker health and banning toxic managers is a long overdue next step in the process. You need a license to be a counselor, drive a car or even go fishing in this country and, by golly, we believe you should have to demonstrate some basic level of proficiency before you assume control over another person’s career and well-being in the workplace.”

If you are interested in getting in early on the licensing process you can download a study guide and sample test from OSHA and start preparing.

Wishing you the very best April first!